Hogwarts castle please?

   Ok so I went to the beach last week and it was pretty perfect.  Warm weather, refreshing water, not too crowded, decent waves.  The tide was going out and you could walk pretty much as far out as you wanted and not hit water deeper than your waist.  The way the sandbar was situated there were also these rogue waves for lack of a better term that would hit the shore and kind of go back out to sea.  When a normal wave and one of the rogue waves collided it would make this big explosion and was especially cool if you happened to be standing where these two waves met.  I was fortunate enough to be riding one of the normal waves when one of the rogue waves was coming at me and it was like being launched into a ramp made of water.  I shot up in the air about a foot maybe two and it was easily the best wave I've ever caught in my life.
   The best wave of my life was diminished by the presence of a clusterfuck of what we always called nettles when we were growing up.  I'm not sure what they actually are but they aren't nettles, because I have since been informed by several websites that nettles are a type of vegetation that look to me like a mix between poison ivy and weed.  I have no idea what these little animals are but they look like TINY little sandcrabs.  They are about as big as a grain of sand but when they get in your suit they feel like little pinpricks.  And since swimsuits usually only cover your vital areas, you can imagine how unpleasant this is.
     I went to the beach a few days later for the neptune festival and saw some awesome sand castles at a contest that was going on.  Here are some of my favorites.

We asked the guy who was doing the second one how he came up with the design and he said he smoked a lot of pot (nettles?)  Its hard to see how extensive the detail is in the pictures but it was amazing.  And if you're wondering how they get their creations to stand up to the wind?  Well when they get the sand wet for the sculpting phase, instead of just using water they mix in a little glue to give themselves a harder base to work with.  Sounds like cheating to me...but I guess glue is the fondant of the sandcastle constructing world.
   Oh and what's the opposite of a butterface?  A carface....as in seeing a hottie pull up to the gas station then seeing said hottie get out of the car and realizing he/she looked better when he/she was seated in the car and thus could only be seen from the shoulders up....imagine the face of Kristin Cavallari on the epic body of The God Warrior....or don't actually.

Book suggestion: Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach
Song Suggestion: Mercy Me - Alkaline Trio